Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
