I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
