JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
