Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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