One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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