I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize