GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
