it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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