Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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