I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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