Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
