I just saw a hot homeless man
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize