Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
