Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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