Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
