The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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