Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
did i walk over a car last night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
