Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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