I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
