Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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