Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
