trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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