If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
nutella sex= disaster
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All I want is dick and wine.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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