Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
