There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
