if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
