More tranny stories later!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i out mim tonsoeep
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize