How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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