The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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