love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
