I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
