Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
