The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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