I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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