This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
