I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
