The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
