i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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