I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
