He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
