New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Come on in and take your pants off
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