Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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