Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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