Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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