she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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