Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
