stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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