Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
