And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize