If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
