meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
