It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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