Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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