Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
