so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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