I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
