I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
