I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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