Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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