I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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