Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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