When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
