So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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