it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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