haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you still have your period?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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