If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
