I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
