Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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