I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
