So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
