I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Another day, another engagement, another cat
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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