i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
