Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
