...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
