so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
