It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
