perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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